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Tuesday, 22 July 2014


How horrible it is having summer break and having absolutely nothing to do. Here I am, on the couch, dying of heat and boredom, and playing Portal for the hundreth time.
      —¿What? —she shouted from the other room.
      —Nothing, I just wanted to know if you were home.
     You probably think that I should go out with my friends or even my girlfriend. Well, you see, things aren't that easy. My girlfriend and I have had a couple fights, you may think that I'm cruel and all that crap, but it hasn't been my fault nor hers, it's simply the fact that people stop loving each other, it sometimes happens fr no reason, out of nowhere, like if everything we ever felt just faded away. It doesn't feel nice. I mean, I was the fist to fall and it looks like I'll be the first to stand up. She still hasn't got over it, but she will. We haven't officially broke up because I doubt it to be fair that I hurt her in such way, I'll wait 'till she's ready. I'd rather have her breaking up with me, you may think I'm a coward, and maybe I am, I'd like her to give the last shot, I really wouldn't like to do it myself. Because I'd obviously be the bad guy, I can almost hear them: "How could you do that to her? She loved you so much". "This is how you thank her for all that she did for you?". "You're such an arse". "How can you let her go?".
      Yes, I understand, maybe I'm dead from the neck up, and yes, I know everything she had to go through because of all my stupidity. But it wasn't my fault. It's just that all that fire that we had, grew so much it faded, ended up as nothing but fume.
      With my friends is another story, the truth is that I just don't feel like going out with them, I don't know if you have ever felt like that, but I'm more willing to go out on my own and maybe meet new people. I know you think I want to go out to meet girls and have someone new, but no. Actually I've never in my entire life wanted to be alone until now. Walk away from everyone and get to know new people, feel again the curiosity of life. Curosity I didn't know I used to feel every now and then, until now.
      I was eager, actually, to go to university and have something to do, vacations have that purpose, drown you in your own boredom 'till you feel sick and you want to get back to work just to have something to do. Specially when you begin this "new path" in your life that is university. And I had only to wait about a week. Still, I wanted time to go faster. We didn't go out this vacation and that was affecting me, I was useless.
      —I'll go buy a couple of things at the mall, ¿You want to come? —my mum asked.
      —¡Yes! —I said immediatly, boredom was eating my insides, in some days I'd be nothing but a zombie, just a shell.
      —¿Where's your brother? —she asked when we got in the car, I supposed she'd interrogate me about him.
      —He went out a couple of hours ago —I answered while I shrugged, trying to evade that subject of conversation.
      —¿Why don't you go out with him?
      —I wouldn't like to be the third wheel.
      —¿He's with a girl then? ¿Who's she?
      —I don't know, he doesn't introduce his dates. But they don't last so I don't think it's necesary.
      —¿Did she look nice? 
      —Pretty, brown hair, medium height, about my age. She was using a pair of shorts and a bikini, I think they were off to the beach. Not alone, of course. They're on Dave's van, I suppose Dave's with them, along with other people that were also in the van.
      —Then you wouldn't be a third wheel, there were more.
      —I don't like the sea, I feel like it'll drag me in to the point where I don't see the shore and I can't go back —¿irrational fear of the ocean? Of course, because there's nothing better than a mass of salted water that surrounds you and who bloody knows what you can find inside there because it hasn't been a hundred percent explored. I wouldn't say it's irrational.
      —You should spend more time with your brother.
      —I do spend time with him.
      —Playing video games and occasionally bother each other isn't what I mean.
      And then we arrived. And I could finally escape from the conversation.
      —I think I'll go for a walk around here, I'll go home walking so don't worry. I just want to breathe some fresh air. I won't go late, I have my phone if you need anything —I gave her a kiss on the cheek and ran away.
      I didn't fancy talking with her about Noah, he could take care of himself, he was older than me. ¿How was I supposed to take care of my older brother?
      I soon got bored of being there and went to the park. Alone at last. These words crossed my mind like the soft breeze of the sea, of course I don't like the sea but you get the idea. Alone. Everyone needs their time alone, and I really had a lack of it.
      I stayed in the park for a couple of hours, laying on the grass, watching everyone as they passed. I decided to stand up and take the long path home, didn't know what I was going to do when I arrived, I'd probably go back to the routine of doing nothing, that's why I didn't hurry.
      A tall guy with dark skin, maybe a few years older than me, came to ask me the time.
      —It's four forty seven —I answered without stopping to talk.
      —Thank you —he simply said and then ran in the opposite direction.
      I just nodded and continued.
      Then I saw him again a few steps in front of me, ¿how did he get there so fast?
      —¿Hey how...?
      —¿How can I tell you this? —he asked, more to himself that to me—. You see...
      —¡Will! ¡¿What the hell are you doing?! —a girl came out of nowhere, she seemed mad, she was way smaller than him, had black straight hair and almond-shaped eyes.
      —I thought  it was a good idea to explain the situation to him and ask him if he agrees.
      —¿Agree with what? —I asked, now I was confused.
      Then I felt like if a lightning had struck my entire body. ¿Did they kill me? I couldn't see anything, or feel anything, I was in some kind of void.
Sorry if my english isn't very well but it's not my first language, so I tried really hard to get it right c: I f you did read all the way trough this, thank you.      

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